dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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