I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
