i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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