just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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