Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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