I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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