Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
