Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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