She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
