I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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