it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
