he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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