Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
