Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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