She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
