I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
