i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
