Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
