he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
