Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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