he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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