It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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