Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
