I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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