the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I enjoy the company of your penis
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