Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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