I love black thongs
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
