haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Say something about gay babies.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
