Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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