i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
