dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
