You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
one might say we're banned from that church
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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