he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Randomize
