do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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