I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
