NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Can you bring me the toilet please
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
