Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
