What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
