You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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