I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
