Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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