I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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