I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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