Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
