question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
