I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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