She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
