While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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