Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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