What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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