Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
