but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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