After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The uberlube is also flammable
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
