so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
