i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Randomize
