Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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