So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
