Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
