The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
