Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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