I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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