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Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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