last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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