Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
