OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
