don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
