hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
