dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
